7 tips from someone who went from completely overwhelmed to completely hooked.
Let me start by saying this, if you’re researching your first lifestyle cruise right now, you are probably spiraling a little bit.
I know I was.
You’re sitting there wondering:
“What if I hate it?”
“What if people are pushy?”
“What if I don’t fit in?”
“What if I’m trapped on a boat and I panic?”
Trust me, I had every single one of those thoughts before my first cruise.
In my head, I had already created this emergency backup plan where if everything went horribly wrong, I would lock myself in my cabin, order room service, and wait for the cruise to end.
Spoiler alert, none of that happened.
Instead, I ended up having one of the best weeks of my life.
And honestly? Most of the fears people have before their first lifestyle cruise are completely wrong.
So if you’re curious, nervous, excited, intimidated, or somewhere in between, here’s what you should actually expect.
This was the biggest surprise for me.
I expected nonstop pressure and awkward pickup lines.
Instead, everyone was… happy.
Like genuinely happy.
You get on an elevator and everyone says hello.
People smile at you walking by.
Everyone’s dancing, laughing, complimenting costumes, and just genuinely having fun.
And weirdly enough, because everyone has options, nobody is desperately chasing anyone.
That was one of the biggest mindset shifts for me.
In the vanilla world, sometimes people act overly aggressive because they’re trying so hard to make something happen.
On a lifestyle cruise, people are usually there to have fun first. If connections happen naturally, great. If not, nobody’s melting down over it.
Ironically, you actually have to put effort into meeting people.
For our first FIVE Bliss Cruises, we skipped the meet and greets because we were nervous. Then one day we finally tried speed dating and realized:
“Oh… THIS is how everyone is meeting each other.”
TIP #1, The more you put into the cruise socially, the more you get out of it.
This is probably the biggest misconception people have.
Nobody is dragging you into playrooms.
Consent and boundaries are taken more seriously in the lifestyle than in most normal vanilla environments. Whether you’re on a Bliss Cruise, Desire Cruise, or visiting Hedonism Resort for the first time, the biggest surprise for most newcomers is usually how respectful everyone actually is.
But here’s something I wish someone had told me beforehand:
Tip #2, learning how to say “no” gracefully helps A LOT.
Not because people won’t respect your boundaries, they absolutely will, but because nobody wants to completely kill the vibe either.
Over the years, I’ve gotten really good at saying things like:
“Thank you, that’s super flattering, but we’re looking for something different tonight.”
Or:
“We’re taking it slow tonight.”
And sometimes? I just walk away.
Literally.
If I’m uncomfortable, I’ll casually disappear to another part of the ship. My husband immediately knows:
“Okay, she’s not feeling this.”
Then he can easily make his exit too with something simple like:
“I should probably go find my wife.”
On a cruise ship it’s incredibly easy to gracefully leave a situation without making it awkward. In a club environment, that’s way harder.
Some couples even have code words.
One Canadian couple told me their signal was:
“I’m going to get a Diet Coke at the bar.”
When I asked why, they said:
“Because Diet Coke is disgusting and we would never drink one.”
PSA, I personally love Diet Coke, but honestly… genius system.
I cannot stress this enough….
Tip #3, PLEASE participate in the themes.
I’m not saying you need a professionally rhinestoned costume with LED wings and a fog machine.
But do something.
Theme nights are one of the best parts of the cruise because they instantly become conversation starters. You see people’s humor, creativity, confidence, and personality come out.
When someone shows up in regular clothes while everyone else is participating, it kind of gives:
“I didn’t really want to bother.”
The vibe onboard is very much:
“We’re all in this together.”
Personally, I LOVE costumes. I’ll spend a year planning outfits with my husband. But even if that’s not your thing, throw on fishnets, body glitter, a themed accessory, literally anything.
Effort is sexy!
Most people walk onto their first lifestyle cruise with one of two completely opposite fears:
Either:
“I’m going to be overwhelmed by attention.”
Or:
“Every insecurity I’ve ever had is about to be on full display, and no one will want me”
Then you get onboard and realize neither one is true.
The people getting the most attention usually are not the “hottest” people on the ship.
They’re the most confident.
The friendliest.
The couples making everyone laugh at the bar.
The ones making others feel comfortable and included.
That’s when you realize attraction in the lifestyle has way more to do with energy than perfection.
You are not objectified.
You’re celebrated.
All body types exist.
All ages exist.
All confidence levels exist.
The people you think are having the most sex usually aren’t.
The couples having the time of their lives are often older, less conventionally attractive, or simply people who know how to let loose and connect with others.
Tip #4: Confidence, humor, openness, kindness, and good energy matter way more than abs.
This especially applies to women.
Best advice I was ever given on a Bliss Cruise:
“On this cruise, you can either be the fish or the fisherman.”
The fish waits around hoping to be noticed.
The fisherman continuously casts their line.
If something isn’t the right fit, they move on.
Sometimes nothing bites.
Sometimes the next cast surprises you in the best possible way.
That advice perfectly explains lifestyle travel. Great connections rarely happen by accident.
A lot of first timers spend the entire cruise waiting for the “perfect” couple to magically approach them, or they end up settling for whoever happens to approach them first because they’re too nervous to put themselves out there.
Tip #5, If you want quality connections, don’t wait to be chosen, participate in the experience.
You have to go to the meet and greets.
Compliment someone’s costume.
Start conversations in the elevator.
Talk to people at dinner.
Actually participate in the experience instead of hiding on the sidelines waiting to be chosen.
Not aggressively.
Not desperately.
Just openly.
If a couple or group seems cliquey or closed off, we eventually realized those are the most insecure people onboard. A lot of times they’re staying within their group because it feels safe and comfortable, not because they think they’re better than everyone else. THOSE AREN’T YOUR PEOPLE.
If someone is interested, you’ll know pretty quickly.
The conversation flows naturally.
They lean in.
They maintain eye contact.
They ask questions back.
The energy feels easy.
And if they’re not interested?
That’s usually just as obvious.
Short answers.
Looking around the room.
Closed off body language.
No follow up questions.
And that’s okay too.
Keep being exactly who you are because eventually you WILL find your tribe.
Tip #6, The lifestyle gets WAY less intimidating once you realize rejection isn’t personal. Most people are figuring things out in real time, exactly like you are.
People need people.
And the older you get, the harder it becomes to genuinely connect with others.
People get busy.
Friend groups shrink.
Everyone hides behind phones, routines, careers, and insecurities.
Most adults are lonely in ways they don’t even realize.
That’s why lifestyle cruises feel so different.
Despite what outsiders think, cruises like Bliss Cruise, Desire Cruise, and Temptation Cruise are not nonstop orgies full of people trying to sleep with anything that moves.
Most people are really just looking for connection.
Friendship.
Freedom.
Validation.
Excitement.
Community.
Or simply a break from pretending all the time.
At the core, it’s about being around open-minded people who are actually excited to engage with each other.
People dancing together.
Laughing together.
Complimenting each other.
Talking in elevators.
Making friends at the pool.
Having conversations that somehow feel more genuine than the ones people have fully clothed back home.
No judgment.
No pretending.
No weird social rules.
No pressure to fit into some perfect mold.
Just adults trying to feel alive and connected again.
And if any part of this made you feel seen, curious, excited, nervous, understood, or even just a little less alone?
Tip #7, stop overthinking it and finally experience a lifestyle cruise for yourself!
